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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018228">Touch Aversion</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Code_The_Poet/pseuds/Code_The_Poet'>Code_The_Poet</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Autistic Kitagawa Yusuke, Autistic Sakura Futaba, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, everyone supports Yusuke, he deserves it okay, supportive friends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:40:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,857</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018228</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Code_The_Poet/pseuds/Code_The_Poet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>To Yusuke, nothing is more uncomfortable than physical contact. The rest of the Phantom Thieves notice and help him come to terms with his feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Quality Persona Fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Touch Aversion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Most of the stories I read about characters that don't like to be touched end in them eventually getting used to physical contact or even growing to enjoy it, but I wanted to portray a different kind of character development here. (I am also 100% projecting because I'm very touch averse and supportive friends are the best.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For as long as he could remember, Yusuke had despised being touched.</p><p>He couldn’t come up with any particular reason why. There was no underlying trauma as far as he was aware, which was more than he could say about certain other aspects of his life. Even as a child, he remembered shying away from the playful nudges of the other pupils in the atelier when they would play games with him in the breaks between lessons. He had been more tolerant with the guiding hands of Madarame and his other art teachers, but even their gentle contact made him feel like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.</p><p>He didn’t give it much thought for most of his life. Having grown up relatively isolated, he had no reason to believe that others didn’t share his discomfort with physical contact. It wasn’t until he found himself surrounded by a group of friends for the first time in his life that he realized his experience was in no way universal.</p><p>It was just one more thing that stood between him and his wish for a place to truly belong.</p>
<hr/><p>Ann and Ryuji were the worst offenders of casual physical contact. Punches on the arm from Ryuji and giddy hugs from Ann were common occurrences, and each time it made Yusuke’s skin burn as if he’d been hit by an Agi attack. The feeling lingered long after they pulled away, and often left him rubbing the offending area of his body in a futile attempt to dispel the unwelcome sensation.</p><p>It was becoming increasingly clear that they didn’t share his discomfort; in fact, it seemed that they even <em>enjoyed</em> physical contact. Yusuke put up with it at first, so strong was his desire to fit in for once in his life, but he was sure that someone would eventually notice the way he flinched at even the most delicate of touches. In the end it was Ren who noticed first, which was hardly a surprise considering his uncanny ability to read the emotions of others.</p><p>The two of them were sharing a meal at the ramen restaurant in Ogikubo when the topic was first broached. They were engaged in a particularly intense discussion about Madarame, and Yusuke’s distress must have been evident because Ren reached out to take his hand in an attempt to comfort him. His involuntary cringe, exacerbated by his vulnerable emotional state, was all too obvious, and Ren immediately retracted his hand.</p><p>“Are you okay?” he asked, a look of concern in his dark eyes.</p><p>Yusuke felt his face flush in embarrassment. “I’m fine,” he insisted, reaching out his own hand in an attempt to ease his friend’s worries.</p><p>Ren made no move to take it. “You know, if you don’t want me to touch you, you can just say so.”</p><p>“I can?” The confusion in his voice was all too evident.</p><p>“You’re allowed to have boundaries, Yusuke,” said Ren gently. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I’d rather you tell me than forcing yourself to go along with it.”</p><p>“I suppose I never realized that was an option,” Yusuke admitted, not meeting his friend’s eyes. “I have always gone along with whatever everyone else wants of me.”</p><p>A dark look passed over Ren’s face and his voice dropped in volume. “Please tell me that bastard never did anything, you know… <em>indecent</em> to you.”</p><p>Upon realizing what his friend was getting at, Yusuke’s stomach twisted and he shook his head adamantly. “Never. He may have been controlling and occasionally abusive, but I assure you that he would never have taken it that far.”</p><p>Ren breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad to hear that, otherwise I’d forever regret not strangling his Shadow with my own two hands.” He looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing, “So do you always dislike being touched, or is it only when you’re upset like this?”</p><p>Yusuke swallowed, trying to dispel the sudden lump in his throat. “I have never liked it,” he answered honestly, though he couldn’t suppress a flicker of fear at voicing his feelings out loud for the first time. What if his new friends thought this aspect of him was too weird to overlook the way they’d done with his other eccentricities?</p><p>“Do you think it’s just because you’re not used to it?” asked Ren, leaning forward. “I can’t imagine you’ve had much experience with physical contact in the past.”</p><p>Yusuke stared down at his hands, at his long fingers tapping nervously on the table in front of him. “The same thought has occurred to me as well. The more it happens, however, the less bearable I seem to find it.”</p><p>“Well, maybe it’s just how you are then.” Ren seemed to remember his neglected ramen on the table in front of him, and stopped to take a bite.</p><p>“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?” Yusuke’s words came out as a whisper and he found himself unable to look at his friend.</p><p>“What? No, of course not!” Ren made a move as if to reach out a hand again before stopping himself. “Everyone has different comfort levels with physical contact. Even if your comfort level is zero, there’s no reason to be ashamed of it.”</p><p>“Oh,” was all Yusuke could think to say.</p><p>“Say, Ann and Ryuji can be pretty touchy at times… you want me to tell them to lay off?” Ren paused before adding, “Don’t worry about hurting their feelings, they would much rather you feel comfortable.”</p><p>Once again, Ren seemed to have guessed exactly what was on Yusuke’s mind. He took a moment to consider the offer.</p><p>“I would very much appreciate that, Ren,” he said finally, bowing his head in gratitude. “I would find it an awkward topic to approach myself, considering that we hardly know each other. As long as it would not be a bother to you, of course.”</p><p>“It’s no problem at all.” Ren had a wide grin on his face, dispelling the last of Yusuke’s worries. “It’s my job as leader to look out for the team, after all.”</p>
<hr/><p>After Ren’s reassurance, Yusuke found himself growing more comfortable with expressing his discomfort when it came to physical contact. His art teachers noticed him recoil when they reached out to guide his hand, and they quickly adjusted to demonstrating what they wanted rather than correcting him directly. If they gave any thought to this seemingly sudden change, they likely waved it off as a side effect of his experience with Madarame. This wasn’t exactly true, but no one ever asked him about it and as such Yusuke saw no reason to correct them.</p><p>Ann and Ryuji never brought it up, likely at Ren’s request, but the casual physical contact stopped almost right away. It was a welcome change, and Yusuke found himself opening up and enjoying his time with his friends more. They even took to walking protectively on either side of him in crowded places like the subway station, to minimize unwanted bumps from strangers, and he felt a warm glow at the unspoken gesture of support.</p><p>It was during a day of training in Mementos shortly after that Yusuke finally discovered a form of physical contact that was tolerable, and even pleasant. Ren had just toppled a Shadow with a well-placed Garu attack, and he turned towards Yusuke as he had often done with the other members of the team. He hesitated, searching for permission in his teammate’s face, but Yusuke raised his hand in a clear gesture.</p><p>The resounding <em>smack</em> of the perfectly placed high five sent a rush of power through Yusuke’s body, and he noticed the distinct lack of the burning sensation that usually accompanied such an action. Perhaps it was the thick leather gloves of his Metaverse outfit that protected him, or it could have been a side effect of the mysterious Baton Pass power, but he turned towards the remaining Shadow with an expression of determination.</p><p>“Goemon, Bufu!”</p><p>The shadow went down, and he just barely heard a “Go Fox!” from one of the others before they charged forward in the first All-Out Attack of his own doing.</p><p>“Was that okay?” asked Ren once the Shadows had been dispelled, his concern evident even behind his mask.</p><p>Yusuke was still staring at his own hand in astonishment. “It was more than okay,” he replied honestly.</p><p>There would be many more Baton Passes to come, and he eventually came to relish them as much as the rest of the time he spent with his new friends.</p>
<hr/><p>When Makoto joined their group, Yusuke was initially excited to find that she seemed similarly uncomfortable with physical contact. Unlike him, however, she became much more comfortable with it as she warmed up to the rest of the team. This bothered him more than he was willing to let on, and it came to a peak at the conclusion of Kaneshiro’s palace when the other members of the Phantom Thieves threw themselves into a celebratory group hug.</p><p>“You’re not joining us, Yusuke?” asked Makoto in confusion, when he didn’t approach the space she had clearly left for him.</p><p>Yusuke looked down, ears burning in embarrassment, but Ann spoke up before he could even open his mouth.</p><p>“Nah, he’s not into this sort of thing,” she said, as casually as if she was announcing that he didn’t like a particular flavour of ice cream.</p><p>To his immense relief, Makoto simply nodded. “My older sister also despises hugs,” she offered, perhaps in an attempt to make up for her earlier pushiness, and Yusuke shot her a grateful look.</p><p>“Thank you for understanding,” he said with a slight bow. It was the first time he had acknowledged the existence of his not-quite-a-problem to anyone other than Ren, and he was surprised to find that it felt a lot less unpleasant than he had expected.</p><p>The moment was promptly ruined by a snicker from Ryuji. “He’s just afraid of melting his icy heart,” he teased, followed quickly by “Ow, Ren, why did you just—oh, sorry Yusuke.”</p><p>“It is alright,” said Yusuke hurriedly. “You don’t have to tread so lightly around me. My emotions are nowhere near as sensitive as my body.”</p><p>Ryuji flashed him a toothy grin. “Glad to hear it, ice-boy.”</p>
<hr/><p>Futaba turned out to be the most understanding of everyone. Her own eccentricities meant she didn’t blink twice at Yusuke’s, and he found himself lowering his barriers around her more than anyone else. To an outsider, their constant bickering might have indicated a difference in personality, but in reality it was an expression of how comfortable they were with each other.</p><p>It was Futaba that first brought up the term “touch aversion”, and Yusuke was so surprised to hear a word for the unnamed thing that had plagued him for so long that he stared at her in stunned silence.</p><p>“Earth to Inari!” she practically shouted, waving a hand in front of his face. “Is your mind off on Planet Art again?”</p><p>He blinked, remembering that he was supposed to talk. “I just never knew there was a word for it,” he admitted. “I thought I was the only one who felt like this.”</p><p>“News flash, you’re not as special as you thought.” Futaba’s tone was laced with her usual sarcasm. “It’s really common for people on the spectrum, actually.”</p><p>“The spectrum?” repeated Yusuke in obvious confusion.</p><p>“The autism spectrum!” She adjusted her thick glasses to better stare at him, an incredulous look on her face. “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of it.”</p><p>“I have not,” he said, wondering if he was supposed to feel ashamed or not.</p><p>Futaba spun her chair around to face her computer and her fingers danced over the keyboard with astonishing speed. “Intense focus on a single area of interest, difficulty reading others, weird posture, excessively formal speech patterns, sensitivity to touch,” she recited, seemingly reading from a list. “Sound familiar?”</p><p>“I…” Yusuke tried to gather his thoughts. “I suppose that does sound rather familiar.”</p><p>She made a noise of satisfaction. “I was pretty sure from the moment I saw you, Inari. You’re the only person I’ve ever met who’s reminded me so much of myself.”</p><p>Yusuke frowned, once again struggling to keep up with her too rapid train of thought. “I still don’t understand.”</p><p>“Just shut up and listen, then.”</p><p>As Futaba explained, it seemed to Yusuke that she was inside his head, reading out his deepest thoughts and insecurities. It all made a strange sort of sense, and knowing that there was a possible explanation behind all of his eccentricities was an oddly comforting feeling. He didn’t retain most of the information, but Futaba promised to send him some links for him to read on his own.</p><p>“And there’s nothing wrong with it?” he asked for what seemed like the hundredth time.</p><p>Futaba groaned. “God, Inari, have you even been listening to me? Of course there’s nothing wrong with us. Our brains are just wired differently!”</p><p>Yusuke drew his knees up to his chest, imitating her signature posture, and was surprised at how comfortable it was. “Thank you for sharing this with me, Futaba,” he said quietly.</p><p>Her scowl softened. “Hey, it’s no big deal. I just don’t want you thinking you’re the only one in the world who feels like this.”</p><p>“It has been bothering me,” he admitted with a sigh. “Even though Ren and the others are so accepting of my… <em>differences,</em> I still sometimes feel strange and out-of-place.”</p><p>“Well you’re not, so stop worrying about it.” Futaba’s voice was business-like once more. “Now, for the next phase of your anime rehabilitation…”</p><p>She launched into a long explanation of the next anime she intended to show him. Upon finding out that Madarame hadn’t allowed his students to watch anime, she had taken it upon herself to educate Yusuke on her favourite artform. He had initially gone along with it to shut her up, but now he found himself looking forward to their marathons out of a genuine desire to learn.</p><p>“Inari, you’re zoning out again!”</p><p>Even if Futaba wasn’t the most patient of teachers.</p>
<hr/><p>By the time Haru joined the team, Yusuke felt comfortable enough to add, “And by the way, I would prefer if you didn’t touch me without asking,” to the end of his self-introduction. If the sense of relief he felt wasn’t enough to convince him that it was the right decision, the thumbs up from Futaba and the proud grins from the others were more than enough.</p><p>“Of course, Yusuke-kun,” Haru said with an understanding smile. “I will be sure to respect your boundaries.”</p><p>(He would later learn that she had her own issues with touch that stemmed from her relationship with her overly pushy fiancé, and though she would eventually overcome them she never lost her compassion for those in similar positions.)</p><p>Looking around at his five best friends (and their not-a-cat companion), Yusuke felt happier than he had ever felt in his life. There was no doubt in his mind that they would fight to the ends of the earth for him, and he realized that he would gladly do the same for them.</p><p>Makoto’s voice startled him out of his thoughts. “Hey, Yusuke, are you listening? We’re about to go over the infiltration plan.”</p><p>Yusuke blinked. “Huh?”</p><p>“I <em>told</em> you he never listens when he gets that stupid look on his face!” exclaimed Futaba triumphantly.</p><p>“I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have met all of you,” Yusuke defended himself.</p><p>“Oh, Yusuke-kun, that’s so sweet of you to say!” Haru exclaimed, clasping her hands together in delight.</p><p>“Let’s try to stay on track—” Makoto tried to say, but she was quickly interrupted by the others.</p><p>“You’re one of my best friends, Yusuke, and I wouldn’t have it any other way,” said Ren with one of his rare smiles, softer and more genuine than his trademark Joker smirk.</p><p>“And you have good taste in sushi,” piped up Morgana.</p><p>Ann sniffled, overwhelmed by her emotions. “I’m just glad we saved you before anything worse happened.” She shoved Ryuji meaningfully, and he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.</p><p>“Uh, I guess I appreciate you too, bro.”</p><p>“Ugh, this is way too sentimental for me,” gagged Futaba, but she reluctantly added, “Well <em>I</em> think you’re a dork, Inari, but you do watch anime with me so I guess you’re alright.”</p><p>All eyes turned to Makoto, who sighed. “You are a valuable member of the team, Yusuke, and a dear friend. But can we please get back to discussing the plan so that we can actually get started?”</p><p>“Yes Mom,” joked Ryuji, but he was immediately silenced by Makoto’s death glare.</p><p>“As I was <em>saying</em>…”</p><p>Yusuke brought a hand to his face, stealthily attempting to dry his suddenly damp eyes. Futaba noticed, if her barely contained snicker was anything to go by, but even she didn’t dare interrupt Makoto again.</p><p>He had finally found a place to belong, and it was better than he could have ever imagined.</p>
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